Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
