I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
