last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
