No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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