how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
