Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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