His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
