good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
