Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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