You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
