You just made me feel so damn special
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
