Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
