We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
