I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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