Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
