i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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