Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
