is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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