Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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