thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
