Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize