i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
