we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Im part way to drunk.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
