party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
