I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize