well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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