i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
