yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
