Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
