grandma shit on top of the toilet
Duck Duck Cougar?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize