She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
