I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
