in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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