2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
