He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
