Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
