you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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