I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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