You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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