babies were throwing up all over the place
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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