What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
