Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
