So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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