so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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