the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
