Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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