Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
