I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize