I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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