Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
