well you can't waste a boner
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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