You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
