When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
