bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
