do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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