Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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