You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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