Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize