i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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