So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Randomize
