Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
