ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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