And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
