So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
