Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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