Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
