your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
